Jeena Isi Ka Naam Hai!!!

Stress? Strained? No Peace of mind? what is the current situation? I am unable to decipher it. Everyday I am getting surprised by what life is offering me. Series of failures now for years in succession. Why am I not authorized success? where am I going wrong? Every now and then, I see people around me growing. Growing professionally, personally, psychologically. Leaving the world behind. Friends, dear ones, buddies. seniors, juniors, loved ones, everyone. So where am I lagging? Do I really need a psychiatrist or I only need self introspection? Whom should I question my present situation of dilemma? Answers do not come from within if I question myself. My body, soul and my mind appear to be three different identities. There is a conspicuous absence of cohesion and support for each other. Hope is leading nowhere. All I see is darkness all around. In search of outer peace, I have started losing inner strength and peace. My optimism, my courage, my strength all seem to have outlived their age. Call it my inability to catch up with the pace of life. They say you must cry and burst out your emotions. But to whom? Is there anybody worth listening or understanding or sharing my pain? The pain of being honest, the pain of loving,  the pain of being myself? The confidence of doing something is fading away. Probably writing may help me come out strongly. My books are going to be my best friends. I must read daily and I must pen down my thoughts daily. Oh! The Supernatural!! Oh!! The mighty Almighty!! Guide me towards the promising future. Show me the path. Illuminate my body and my push my soul. I promise to rise potently.!!!

DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT IS LOVE!!!

I believed you truly loved me

I thought your heart was good

I thought our love was chiseled

Into stone, not wood

I thought we had forever

Each other side by side

That we would always walk hand in hand

With nothing either had to hide

I always thought that we could talk

And get through anything

That our love was more sturdy

Than all sorrows life would bring

I thought your heart belonged to me

And there would never be another

That if we had nothing else

We'd always have each other

I thought that my heart was safe

When I handed it to you

That you meant it when you said it

That your love was pure and true

Now, it's clear that I was wrong

That your love was just a lie

That your heart is an unfaithful one

And I was time which you just passed by

LIFE---- Love In Frozen Eyes!!!

Trust me I'm there.... I'm there to understand your pain... To feel it, to cry on it, to suffer with you, to hold your hand and let you come out... I'm there to share your burden, to lighten your load.... I'm there to make you realize that i'm always there... Trust me I'm there....

This is what you said when he wanted you to say it... Above is what he expected from you.... He fought with you, he argued.... He wanted to see a smile on you.... He didn't want you to know what he was doing to keep you happy.....

He fell down, he was laughed at; he failed, he was made fun of; he lost, he was discouraged to be a fighter to win; he flunked, he was neglected; he fainted, he was kicked; he suffered, he suffered and took on himself but he loved.... He loved you.... he loved you as nobody in the world did.... He wanted you to hate him... Hate him and give him the reason to love you more.... He gave his life, everything what he had, sacrificed the goals he wanted to be achieved.... Surrendered his belongings before you.... He never wanted you to be a 'misfit' in this world... He did everything which nobody wanted him to do but you asked him to.... He loved you without even you knowing it... Trust me on that he has become hollow just to see a smile, just to love you more every moment.... You love to hate him and also you hate to love him.... But he has loved you and only you and will keep loving you till he takes his last breath..... He suffered to reduce your sufferings....

Today, when he was trying to recollect what you said to him, he suffered again.... He had become so lean and weak that he wanted your support... You had promised him to understand his pain and sufferings and given him a word to help him... Today, when he wanted you the most, you left him... You left him to continue his journey taking a path full of pain...... His love for you for no condition was not love for you....His sayings became sarcastic comments for you to reply back after years and make him understand that his way of loving you unconditionally was wrong... You left him to add on to his pain....

As everyone says, he's a fighter.... He will fight his own battle in his own way.... He'll make people understand his worth of existence in this world... He'll achieve what he had sacrificed in love before being achieved.... He'll get up and heal his wounds... He'll gain senses and love you again and not accepting your replies....

He begs for an apology... He needs to find love... He needs you to help him find the love within you both.. Grant him an apology giving an opportunity to look beyond what he sees....

Let him Live Every Moment with you

Let him Celebrate Life with you

WHO SAYS?

who says you're alone? who says you can't fight? Is this the life you've always craved for? Is this the life you've always hankered for? whom are you talking to? whom you're trying to share your pain with? who is there to take your failures? who is there to help you come out? who is there to feel the pain? who says i'm there for you, with you? Do you see anybody who doesn't say and just listens? Do you see anybody who feels as much pain as you do? Are you trying to gain sympathy? Are you trying to justify your failures? Do you want somebody to take blame for your failures?

NO... that's not you. You're not the one who loses and cries. You're not the one who dawdles on your path. You're not the one who takes the easier way. You're a fighter. A belligerent fighter. You struggle to live and exist. You move up and take a steep climb but you do not clamber. Understand the pain you've been giving others. Understand and feel what others are going through. They need your shoulder to put their heads and cry. Your state of indigence is the state of negligence. Their condition of pain is the condition of twisting the wounds. You are required to heal those wounds. Be an ointment of love. Be with them. Fight for them, with them. Love them as nobody in the world would have ever loved them. Take their hands and show the world how much you love them. Show that you live for them and only for them. Trust me your pain will cease to exist. Give them time to understand you.

Give them space to learn and fall and stand and try and learn and fly and love and feel and hold and heal.

You need them and you need their hand to move ahead. Failures will come, failures will pull you and make you fall. Nobody but they, will support. Nobody but they, will understand. Nobody but they, will feel.

Come let them hold you and give your hand for them to hold. Hold them and become one. Let them merge into you and become you. Come, lets be together and fight. Let our failures not command our life. Lets not fight and regret and cry and suffer in silence and hatred. Lets fight with the world and life together. Come lets be one.

Come lets live every moment together

Come lets celebrate life together!!!

Come, hold my hand

I need you, love will expand

Wounds will heal, we'll grow

Give you pain, 'll get blow

Forgive me once, expect a bunce

I love you, say it once.!!!

LIVE EVERY MOMENT, CELEBRATE LIFE!!

Be Practical!! this is what you wanted to tell me..?? or rather teach me..?? Thanks a lot... i am grateful to you for guiding me and showing me the correct path.. but i would like you to know that this is the only way i am going to love you for my entire life.. i am not expecting anything in return.. if ur heart says, love me.. if it doesn't, go ahead and live your life.. Do not worry about me.. i will not bother you.. i never did.. what bad did i write in my messages, i really cant figure out.. but yes, whatever i wrote came from bottom of my heart.. i think i remember what i wrote.. was it that we'd spend entire three days in each other's arms?? sorry i said that.. how can it be possible.. u have other priorities in life... but i will still come and be there.. meet me if u want... kill me if u want like u did today... i've gone numb today.. nothing will affect me now .. though my love will remain the same.. but pain will stay.. nothing can heal this wound i guess....

...... As it was not expected, it had to happen... I moved back from Nasirabad to Pune only to realize that i would get only an evening to draw a bead on having fun in Pune... The day that followed did not allow me to see the evening again at that place.. To add on to my pain in back, i moved to Aurangabad...

I thank my stars and ofcourse you that during all these days when i was doing 'Bharat Darshan', you stood by my side.. You have been my strength

WALK BESIDES ME, BE MY STRENGTH!!

I wanted to publish my very first post on this blog on a good note but, as the luck would have it, first post was not published on time. Now today i should not try to justify the reason behind it coz "No Excuse is Fair Enough". My promise to somebody was not kept and i finally realised the meaning of " We Promise According to our Hopes, and Perform According to our Fears".

Life is not meant to be so hectic that you pretend to say there is no time. Some of you reading this would definitely point finger on me but that is acceptable. I have done a mistake and today i am here to offer my sincere apology and to rectify the mistake.

I was supposed to stay in Pune after coming from Delhi. But to enjoy(or to cry at) every possible mode of transport, i was dispatched to Rajasthan the day which followed my joining in Pune. Four days of exhaustive journey to Nasirabad will always remain etched in my memory and also, as it might be expected, in my back which still hurts.

to be continued...